


Cat and Mouse Games

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-07
Updated: 2003-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-29 12:12:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14472504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: On the way to Persephone, the crew plays games (but not the fun kind) with themselves and with each other.





	Cat and Mouse Games

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

 

Cat and Mouse Games

## Cat and Mouse Games

### by Shanna

Disclaimer: The usual stuff about these characters and situations being mine, this being a non-profit endeavor, etc., etc. 

Author's note: This story is a sequel to "Space Pirates" and is part of a story arc. To understand events and references in this story, you probably need to have read that one. (If you haven't read it, go on and read it. This will still be here when you get back.) This story takes place about a day or so after "Space Pirates" and a couple of weeks after the events in the episode "Objects in Space." Events in the unaired episode "Heart of Gold" are taken into consideration, but without any real direct spoilers you wouldn't also have figured out from "Objects in Space." This series goes AU following "Objects in Space" and does not reference events from any other unaired episodes. 

* * *

Simon lost his appetite when Jayne started cleaning his weapons. 

It wasn't the spitting -- he'd learned to tune that out a while ago -- so much as it was what the weapons symbolized, what they reminded him of. Particularly that one little handgun, the one that looked like a toy. A very deadly toy, one that had killed at least once that Simon knew of, because he was the one who had killed with it. 

And it wasn't the fact that he'd killed a man that bothered him. It was the fact that he was so damn proud of having done so. 

He'd always considered himself a peaceful person. Because of his job, he knew enough about the consequences of violence to want to avoid it. But the universe had other ideas, other things in store for him, and in his new life, he didn't have the luxury of clinging to old ideals, especially when they could get him or the people he cared about killed. Being capable of looking at another human being and pulling the trigger that would cause that being's death meant that he could take care of himself when the situation called for it. It meant he wasn't a liability to the rest of the crew. 

That wasn't how he'd thought he'd react to his first kill. He'd known it would happen eventually, and he'd anticipated sleepless nights, nightmares, regrets, guilt. But he felt none of that. In fact, he'd reacted pretty much the way Jayne did when he killed somebody. And that disturbed him. He was starting to suspect he wasn't the person he'd always believed himself to be. 

His appetite gone, he shoved himself away from the table, limped into the kitchen and emptied his bowl into the recycler. "I guess I'd better go see what River's up to," he announced to the room in general, lest they get the wrong idea about why he was leaving. They probably had the same expectations he did about the way he'd react to killing. He wasn't sure yet that he wanted to let them in on the truth. 

He limped down the corridor toward the stairs, dreading the trip down to the infirmary and passenger dorm. As much as he hated to admit it, Jubal Early had been right about one thing. Getting shot had been good for him. It was painful, yes, but considering the time he spent taking bullets out of people, it was probably good for him to know what it felt like. He had a much greater empathy for his patients now. He certainly intended to prescribe a lot more painkillers in the future. A gunshot wound hurt like hell. This one had started to feel better until he strained the healing muscles by staying on his feet all day. Now he thought that a pain pill might be a very good idea about now, as much as he hated to prescribe medication like that to himself. 

He was concentrating so intently on putting one foot in front of the other on his way down the stairs that he nearly ran into someone who was on the way up. He didn't need to look to know it was Kaylee. He recognized her scent, an intoxicating blend of floral perfume and engine grease. 

"Hey, Simon, there you are. I been looking for you," she said. 

Instantly on the alert, he asked, "Is something wrong?" 

"No, there's just somethin' I want to show you." There was a glint of mischief in her eyes as she took him by the arm and dragged him toward the engine room that both stirred and alarmed him. Right now, he wasn't entirely sure he could bring himself to resist her if she tackled him in the engine room. He knew it would be a very, very bad idea for so many reasons, not the least of which was the fact that the captain would very likely throw him out the nearest airlock if he did anything to hurt her, and he knew without a doubt that when the more terrifying aspects of his life caught up with him, she was bound to get hurt. Still, after what he'd been through in the past day or so, he could use something life affirming and enjoyable. 

Disappointment mingled with relief when they stepped into the engine room and he saw his sister sitting in there. It looked like that particular decision was delayed one more time, for better or worse, because not even Kaylee would try anything with River nearby. "What's going on?" he asked. 

Kaylee continued to look mysterious as she tugged him toward the back of the engine room. "I just want you to take a look at something." 

When he got to the very far back of the room, where River was sitting, he saw that she was sitting next to a crumpled up towel on which lay a large brown cat. "It's a cat," he said. 

"Excellent diagnosis, Dr. Tam," Kaylee said, poking him in the shoulder. 

He knelt in front of the cat and asked, "Where did you get it?" 

She joined him on the floor. "He kinda took refuge here when the fightin' was goin' on back on New Lafayette." 

"The captain isn't going to like this. He's going to kill you." 

"No, he won't, not if he wants to keep the ship running." 

"Okay, then he'll kill me when he finds out that I know about this." 

She laughed. "You're so funny. He won't kill you. Not for keepin' a little secret. And it is a secret, just in case you were wonderin'." 

"He hates me. He's just looking for an excuse." 

"Oh, he likes you more'n he lets on, 'specially now that you've been so useful, what with the Ariel heist and you gettin' us our parts. Plus, you've saved his life and Zoe's, and put his ear back on. That's enough to change his opinion a bit." 

"I still don't think he's going to like this." 

"I ain't plannin' on keepin' him. I just want to make sure he's okay, then get him to a world where he can find a good home." He wasn't sure he believed her, the expression on her face was so wistful. "So, is he okay?" 

"Kaylee, I'm not a veterinarian." 

"Well, ain't the parts pretty much the same?" 

"Sort of. More or less. But they're not necessarily in the same place, and the vital signs are different." 

"But can't you just tell if he's okay or if he needs more help?" 

He found it very, very difficult to say no to her, especially when she looked at him like she thought he could do anything. "I could take a look, but I'll have to do some research to be sure." He held a hand out to the cat so it could sniff him and get used to him before he started probing the cat gently with his fingers. "He doesn't seem to have any broken bones, but he may be a bit malnourished. I'll have to look that up to be sure. And it looks like he may have been burned in a couple of places. I've got some salve down in the infirmary I can put on those burns." 

"Other than that, he's okay, right?" 

"I think so. As I said, I don't know much about cats." 

"Daddy won't let us keep him," River said softly as she scratched the cat behind the ears. 

Her words took Simon back to a time long ago when she'd said very much the same thing in a very similar situation when the two of them had come across what they'd thought was a stray kitten but which had turned out to belong to a neighbor. They'd kept the kitten safe in his closet where nobody would find it. River was always bringing things home, so the servants and nannies knew to check her room regularly. But Simon was such an upright young citizen, always following the rules, that he could generally get away with anything, as long as he hid it appropriately. Now that upright young citizen had grown up to be quite the criminal. 

"No, he probably won't," he said gently. "But we can take care of him until we can get him to a safe place." 

"What should we feed him?" Kaylee asked. "Can he eat the same things we do?" 

"Probably." The molded protein they ate on the ship wasn't all that different from cat food. 

"Oh good." She rubbed the cat's belly. "How long do you think we'll be able to hide Cat from the captain?" 

"Is that what you named him, Cat?" 

"It's his name," River said. "That's what he said." 

"Oh, he did?" His stomach gave the familiar lurch it did every time River said or did something that reminded him of just how altered she was. "I guess that's his name, then. And I'd better get down to the infirmary and get that salve." He started to get to his feet, but his injured leg wasn't cooperating. "Uh, do you think you can give me a hand up?" he asked. 

Kaylee bounced to her feet and held out a hand. He took it and let her pull him up. "Thanks," he said and started to go, but she didn't let go of his hand. 

"Thanks again, Simon, for helping out here. And remember, it's a secret. The captain never has to know." 

"Believe me, I have more reason than you do to keep this a secret. I'll be back in a bit." 

Then he faced the ordeal of going down the stairs. Why couldn't he have found a ship that had elevators? 

* * *

Mal came into the dining room for lunch to find that Jayne had his entire arsenal spread out on the table for cleaning. His personal hygiene might leave something to be desired, but he didn't tolerate so much as a speck of dust on his weapons. At the moment, he was working on a tiny handgun. "Is that the infamous Henrietta?" Mal asked as he took a seat at the table. 

"Yep, she's a real pretty little lady, ain't she? I think she likes the doc. She killed real good for 'im." 

Zoe, sitting on the other side of the table with Wash, asked, "He really did kill someone?" 

"I believe he did," Mal said. "Who would have thought it would be the preacher and the doctor who turned the tide? I can't quite decide if that makes us the most pathetic crew ever, or if it means we are the baddest of the bad." 

"How do you figure that, sir?" Zoe asked. 

"Well, if we needed a preacher and a doctor to come to our rescue, we really are pathetic. But if you look at it as our preacher and doctor being bad enough to make a difference in a firefight, then we have to have one hell of a crew." 

"I think we have a hell of a crew," Wash said, waving his chopsticks in the air. "We are so bad that even the worst pirates cower in fear before our doctor and our preacher. Our little crazy girl takes out the most loathsome bounty hunters with only a bit of help. We don't even send out our real fighters except to face small armies." 

They all laughed, and although he knew Wash was joking, Mal couldn't help but agree with him. They did have a hell of a crew, and he felt fortunate to have them on his boat. He'd do just about anything to keep this crew intact. 

* * *

Simon studied his encyclopedia, reading up on the physiology of cats. He'd taken a pain pill for his leg when he got to the infirmary, then he'd decided to wait for it to take effect before he braved the stairs up to the engine room again. A noise in the doorway of the infirmary caught his attention, and he looked up to see his sister standing there. He swiveled on his stool to face her. "River. I guess you were wondering where I was. I must have lost track of time. Let me get the --" 

She cut him off, raising her hand in front of her with her finger pointing as she spoke. "Point the gun, pull the trigger, bang, bang, he's dead." She blew on the tip of her finger. "And you could do it. You thought you couldn't, but you could. Nobody is going to hurt your sister, and nobody will ever, ever hurt, scare or threaten Kaylee again, not if you can help it." Her voice softened. "Even if you know you can't touch, can never, never touch." 

He watched her, open-mouthed with shock, while he tried to determine how much of that she could have figured out just by being observant, but he had to admit that it was more than a bit uncanny how accurate she was. "River, do you -- can you tell these things?" 

"I hear. I hear lots of things. Some things I hear here." She patted her ears. "Some things I hear here." She patted her chest in the area over her heart. "And some things I hear here." She patted the top of her head. "Some things are inside, and some are outside, and I can't always tell the difference. I hear things I'm not supposed to, but I don't know which is which." 

"That must be very difficult for you," he said, trying to keep his voice calm and gentle to cover the turmoil inside him, even though he knew that was probably pointless. She'd know that he wasn't calm inside. "What -- what else do you hear?" 

"I know things that are happening, and things that have happened. Sometimes things that will happen. But I don't always know which is which." Then her eyes went wide and wild. "You're in trouble, in danger, terrible, terrible danger." 

"No, River, I'm okay. Remember, you told the captain, and he sent Jayne to help. That already happened." 

She shook her head. "No! That's not it. They'll come and they'll take you and they'll hurt you." Now she was screaming. 

"River, no, it's okay. I'm not in any danger." 

She knocked over the instrument tray by the exam table and shrieked, "You never listen to me!" 

"River!" 

"You don't listen because you don't want to hear. You don't want me to be right. But I am right. I'm always right. I know." 

"River, I listen. I'm listening to you now." He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible while he scooted his stool closer to the counter where he could get to the medicine case where he kept the smoothers. 

"No, you don't! You don't believe me. They believe me. They listen, but you don't. You look inside my head and do all your tests, and you still don't understand." Before he could get to the cabinet, she'd picked up his drug case and hurled it at him. He tried to duck, but he didn't avoid it entirely. The corner of it struck him in the temple, and in the process of trying to duck, he overbalanced and fell off the stool, hitting the ground hard. He looked up to see River staring down at him. "You're just like Daddy. You only see what you want to," she said with real venom in her voice before she turned and ran away. 

He rested his forehead on his arm as he tried to think of a worse way he could have handled that situation and of a way he could make things better. Then, just to make the situation more fun, a voice said, "Got a problem there, Doctor?" 

He looked up to see the captain standing in the doorway. "No, just a bad day." 

The captain nodded. "Uh huh." There was a long, uncomfortable silence during which Simon tried to think of something to say to explain away the situation, then the captain asked, "Need a hand up?" 

"No, thanks, I'm fine." 

"You plannin' on gettin' all your stuff put away anytime soon?" The equipment he'd taken out at New Lafayette still lay scattered around the infirmary. 

"Yes, before long. I just haven't felt up to it yet." 

"Well, see that you do before we have a medical crisis. Given your track record here lately, chances are you'll be the one in need." Then he turned and walked off. 

"Very funny," Simon muttered to himself as he pulled himself to his feet by clinging to the exam table. His head was already throbbing where the case River had thrown had hit him. And then he remembered that Kaylee was still waiting for him to come take care of her cat. 

* * *

Mal was sorely tempted to just barge into Inara's shuttle, for old times' sake, but he was trying to behave himself, so he forced himself to knock politely. She opened the door and said formally, "Is there something you need?" 

"Just wanted to let you know Wash said we can expect to be at Persephone day after tomorrow, which puts us a couple days late. Thought you might want to know so you can reschedule any, um, appointments you might have." 

"Thank you. That's very considerate of you. And do you have an idea how long you'll be staying at Persephone?" 

"I thought the plan was that you were leavin' us there." 

"I am. But I'm paid up until the end of the month, and I thought I could continue to use the shuttle until I've made other arrangements." 

"Oh. Well, see, I don't have a way of knowin' how long we'll be there. It all depends on this job Badger says he has for us. We may have to leave in a hurry, or we could be there a while. You might want to be all packed up ahead of time, just in case." 

"Or I could just keep the shuttle until the end of the month and schedule a rendezvous to return it to you once I'm settled." 

"I guess that could work, too." He didn't like the idea, but he couldn't think of a way to veto it without sounding petty. "So, you're really going to leave." 

"Yes, I am. Did I give you reason to think otherwise?" 

"You mean other than the fact that you've threatened to leave every time you didn't get your way ever since you came on board?" 

"This is different." 

"I hope you're planning on tellin' the others that you're leavin', 'cause I ain't." 

She laughed bitterly. "Is this supposed to be some kind of punishment, Mal, for me daring to leave? I have to break the bad news?" 

"No, more like I ain't so good with words, and you might not want to leave it up to me to try to explain why you have to go, and they deserve to know." 

"This isn't about them. It's strictly a business decision. Your business interests and mine no longer coincide. I can no longer find appropriate clientele on the worlds where you stop, and it's too dangerous for you to go to the worlds where I can find the right kinds of clients." 

"Yeah, but you may or may not have noticed that all is not strictly business around here." 

Her eyes narrowed. "And what's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means that you have friends on this boat who might notice that you're gone, who might even miss you. I might not go so far as to use the word 'family,' but the others might want to say good-bye. Hell, they might even want to throw you a little goin' away party." 

Her cool, businesslike mask faltered for a second, and he wondered if this was the first time she'd considered that. He decided to press the advantage, even though he doubted it would do any good. "Kaylee'll be all tore up, and you know it. The preacher'll miss those talks you two used to have, and I suspect the doc'll really miss having you around as an advocate. Goodness knows that boy needs someone to look after 'im." 

"They'll be fine. People move on. We're richer for having known each other, but sometimes our paths diverge." 

"Good, so you're already workin' on your farewell speech. You keep that up. And let me know ahead of time before you give it so I can be sure to have a hanky ready." He left her still standing in the hatch to her shuttle, and as much as he hated himself for feeling this way, he hoped she was hurting just a little bit. 

* * *

"Sorry it took me so long." 

Kaylee looked up from her work when she heard Simon's voice. She greeted him with a smile. "I was wonderin' where you were." Then her smile faded when she saw how sad he looked -- even sadder than he usually did because he always looked just a little bit sad. She followed him back to Cat's quarters and watched him as he set out his medical supplies. He didn't speak, but she could see the tension in his body as he worked. Finally, she just had to ask, "Simon, what's wrong?" 

He sighed. "I just had a fight with River." 

"Really? 'Cause I can't imagine you two fighting. You get along pretty well for a brother and sister." 

"We fought plenty when we were kids. She could be a real brat at times, and of course I could never let her get away with that." 

"So maybe that's a good sign. She's gettin' better, and she's more like normal." 

He didn't seem too encouraged, even as he said, "Yeah, maybe." Then he attempted a weak grin and rubbed the red spot on his temple that looked like it was starting to swell into a knot. "I think she won this time." His smile faded, and he added, "And she was right." 

She settled onto the floor next to him and asked, "What were you fightin' about?" 

"She said I don't listen to her, that I don't want to think about what it is she knows and how she knows it. And she's right, I don't. I try to block it all out because I don't want to think about what had to have been done to her to make her this way." He looked up at Kaylee. "None of you seem to have a problem with that, though. Here lately, anytime she says something, you all take it seriously and try to do something about it. I'm her brother, I should be willing to listen to her, at least as much as a group of people who've only known her a few months." 

"But that's just the thing, Simon, we didn't know her before. To us, she's actually actin' a lot more normal. Now that we know why she says some of the things she does, where it's all comin' from, it's a lot easier to understand her. We saw with that bounty hunter what she could do, and we all learned we might just save ourselves some trouble by listenin' to her. But you knew her before, and you know how different she is now. That must be hard for you, to know what they did to her, to know that she's not what you used to know." 

He pondered that for a moment, then gave her a smile that warmed her heart. "How did you get to be so smart?" 

"You think I'm smart?" In a way, that was even better than him saying she was pretty, and he was sober this time. 

"Yeah, you're smart. You've got a real wisdom, especially when it comes to people. How do you do that?" 

Blushing at his compliment, she shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it's all about having faith, seeing the good inside." 

"Maybe someday you can teach me how to do that. In the meantime, I have a patient here I'm neglecting." He got out his stethoscope and listened to Cat's breathing and heartbeat. "I did some research, and it looks like everything's in the normal range here." 

"That's good, right?" 

"Very good. Now, let's do something about those burns." She watched as he ever so gently touched salve to each of the cat's wounds. Her heart felt all full watching him work with such care and concern. She didn't think she'd ever really been in love before. She'd been in lust more than a few times, and she'd been in like a lot, but she wasn't sure about love, real love, so she didn't know for sure if this was it. She did know that she ached for him, and not down below, like usual -- though there was still a fair amount of tingling going on down there, too. But where she really ached was in her heart, every time she looked at him. She felt like her chest was going to explode, and her throat felt so tight she wasn't sure she could breathe anymore. And every time she thought it was as strong as it could get, he did something that made it even stronger. 

At first, she was sure that it was just because he was so handsome and classy, like he came from a totally different universe from hers. But then she saw how smart he was, how nice he could be, how very brave he was, and the feelings got stronger. Then when she realized how sad he was, how much he desperately needed someone to love him and look after him, she lost her heart to him completely. 

"Ow!" he suddenly yelped, pulling his hand back when the cat clawed at him. "Hey, I'm trying to help you here." He rubbed his injured hand, then went right back to work. "See, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just going to make it better." 

Her eyes stung with tears even as she smiled at the way he talked to the cat, just the way he talked to River. Oh yeah, he was a sweet one, all right, so sweet she was sure that just one little taste of him and she'd never have to eat dessert ever again. He was even better than strawberries. 

He sat back. "There, that should do it." 

"He'll be okay?" 

"He'll be fine. Now we just need to get him to a good home." 

"Kaylee! You in here?" It was the captain's voice. 

She hurried to shove Cat back behind a piece of equipment, and as Mal came farther back into the engine room where he could see them, Simon made a show of adjusting his clothing. Kaylee had to bite her tongue to keep from dissolving into hysterical giggles. She knew she was turning red enough to make Simon's ruse look plenty real. 

Mal did a double take when he saw the doctor in there, sitting on the floor by Kaylee. He raised an eyebrow. "Doctor? Didn't expect to see you in here." 

"I was, well, you see, um, I was looking for River." 

"I see. Well, she's down dancing in the middle of the cargo bay." 

"Oh. Thank you. I was just worried about her, after that fight we had." 

"Did you need something, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked, trying to sound innocent. 

"Nope. Just wanted to see if your repairs took." 

"It's all shiny, Cap." 

"Good. Carry on." 

The giggles burst out of her as soon as the captain was gone. Even Simon laughed. Then he groaned. "He's gonna kill me." 

"No, he won't. Remember, you're useful. He won't kill you unless you break my heart or something." 

She'd meant it as a joke, but the look in his eyes was deadly serious. Suddenly, she understood. All this dancing around, these little games he seemed to be playing where he got real close one minute, then quickly backed away the next, it wasn't because he wasn't interested or wasn't sure he was interested. It was because he was scared he'd hurt her. Not that he'd ever deliberately do anything to hurt her, but there was a lot in his life he didn't have much control over, and that made him afraid. It wasn't that he didn't care. It was that he was afraid he cared too much. 

She could see in his eyes that he saw that she understood, and he ducked his head, breaking the eye contact. She wanted to tell him that it was okay, that she'd be fine, that she wouldn't be hurt, but it would be a lie. She cared too much not to get hurt. Whether it was something he actually did or something that happened to him, her feelings were so strong that she knew there would be pain, great pain, even if things never went any further than they already had. That's what she wanted to tell him, that she was willing to take the risk and that he didn't have to spare her. She wanted so badly to hold him and make him understand, but she knew if she held him, it would take a cutting torch to make her let go. 

Instead, she picked up Cat and cradled him in her arms, her face pressed against his soft, warm fur. "That's a good kitty," she crooned. 

"You want to keep him, don't you?" Simon's voice was a little rough, like he was as full of emotion as she was. 

That wasn't exactly what this was about, but it was true, so she nodded. "Yeah, it would be nice. I had all sorts of pets back home, and sometimes I miss 'em somethin' fierce." She scratched Cat behind the ears and listened to the rumble of his purr. It would be awful hard to let him go. "You're good with plans. Think you can come up with a way to get the captain to let us keep him?" 

Simon reached out to give Cat a little scratch, which put his hand close enough to Kaylee's that she was sure she could feel it, even if he didn't touch her. "I could try. But you should know that I've never been able to convince anyone to keep a pet they didn't want us to have. Just ask River. Though I'll admit I didn't try very hard on behalf of the snake. I never understood why she brought that home." 

Kaylee chuckled. "You managed to convince the captain to keep you around." 

"I really wasn't trying for that. I think it was just like you said, I was useful. Not to mention the fact that I think he gets a bit of a kick out of pulling one over on the Alliance." 

"But you'll try?" 

"I'll see what I can come up with." 

"Thank you, Simon, you're just, well, the best." He blushed, and once again, she wanted to hug him, so she hugged Cat tighter against her to keep her heart from bursting right out of her chest. She had the strongest feeling that this might really be love, and she didn't know what to do about it. 

* * *

Dinner that evening was an uncomfortable experience. Inara made a point of not looking at Mal, and she wasn't particularly friendly with the rest of the crew. She kept a cool, polite distance from everyone else, but they all seemed too wrapped up in their own little problems to even notice. Mal tried to pretend she wasn't there and that he didn't even notice that she wasn't looking at him, but he knew he wasn't fooling her. 

Simon and River didn't seem to be speaking to each other, a point River made pretty clear by going out of her way to speak to everyone but her brother, who just looked miserable and acted like he was trying to ignore her. In contrast to the yelling and throwing things she'd been doing earlier that day in the infirmary, she seemed to be having one of her more lucid spells now so that her conversation actually made sense. Meanwhile, there was a good-sized knot forming on the side of her brother's head that was a pretty good reminder that her sanity tended to be temporary. 

There was something weird going on between Simon and Kaylee. They didn't seem to be mad at each other, but there was an awkwardness around them rather than the easy friendship they usually had. She was the one person the young doctor managed to loosen up around, but they both seemed very self-conscious this evening. There were times when, in spite of his usual dislike of shipboard romances, he was tempted to tell those two to just do it and get it over with, but he had a feeling that would only make matters worse. This wasn't just about them having an itch that needed scratching. It ran deeper than that, whatever it was, and it was bound to create all kind of complications if it ever went anywhere. 

Mal doubted that had much of anything to do with what he'd walked in on in the engine room that afternoon. While the doctor's discomfort had been entirely believable, Mal didn't for a moment believe Kaylee's embarrassment. He'd stumbled upon her doing a far sight more than swapping spit in the past, and she hadn't shown the slightest hint of embarrassment or shame then. No, Mal suspected there was something else entirely going on, and the doctor had been covering for her. He couldn't think of what it might be, unless she'd done something to the engines she wouldn't want him to know about. He made a mental note to stop by the engine room that night and see if anything odd was going on. 

Then there was the preacher. Most nights, he led the dinnertime conversation, but tonight he was strangely silent. He'd been that way ever since they'd left New Lafayette. Mal wondered if it had anything to do with the shoot-out with the pirates. Book had been involved in more than one firefight since coming on board, and none of them ever seemed to have bothered him all that much -- yet another sign he hadn't always been a Shepherd. Mal imagined that it had something to do with whatever he'd had to say or do to get Simon into that fight. After the assault on the skyplex, Book had teased the boy about not managing to actually shoot anyone, but there had been an air of relief about him, as well. Mal had felt much the same way. The difference here was that the doctor had killed this time, and the Shepherd seemed to be mourning the loss of innocence. 

Simon didn't seem particularly bothered by it, but he was often difficult to read. The boy only gave away as much as he wanted known, and only River stood a chance of reading between the lines when he wanted to shut the others out. Even Kaylee couldn't always figure him out. 

Jayne was too busy stuffing food into his face to make conversation, and Zoe was never chatty, so the bulk of the interaction was between Wash and River, who seemed to be having a contest over who could tell the silliest joke. They had each other in stitches, even as the rest of the crew looked like they were attending a funeral. 

When the laughter -- what little there was of it -- from Wash's latest joke died down, Inara said, "There's something I need to tell all of you." Mal groaned inwardly. She had picked the worst possible time to bring this up, and he had a feeling she'd done it on purpose, just to spite him. 

Everyone turned to look at her, and she had the good grace to look a little shamefaced. "I don't really know how to say it, and I probably should have said something earlier, but I'm not very good at good-byes." She glanced around the table, where all of them were staring at her, except Jayne, who was wiping his plate with a roll. "I'll be leaving Serenity when we get to Persephone." 

"But you'll be comin' back, right?" Kaylee looked stricken. 

"No, _mei mei_ , I won't. I'm leaving for good." 

"But why?" Tears welled in Kaylee's eyes. 

Inara reached across the table to take her hand. "I'm sorry, but I have to. It's business. My clientele is in danger of drying up completely if I don't make a change." 

Mal restrained himself from making a crude remark about the likelihood of her clientele drying up quite literally, and he hoped Jayne had the good sense to do the same. 

"I hate to see you go," Simon said, his attention focused on Kaylee's tears even as he spoke to Inara. "We'll miss you." 

"And I'll miss you, all of you." Inara tried for a smile and didn't quite make it. "The universe isn't that big a place. I'm sure we'll run into each other again." 

Kaylee yanked her hand out of Inara's, then said, "I can't believe you're leavin' us like this." She got up and ran off toward the engine room. Inara started to rise, like she was thinking about going after her, then settled back into her chair, her face clouded. 

Simon's eyes followed Kaylee, and Mal caught his eye and gave him a little nod. The doctor put his napkin on the table, stood, said, "Excuse me," then went after Kaylee. 

River hadn't said anything, but her eyes went back and forth between Inara and Mal in a way that made Mal intensely uncomfortable. She had a knowing little smile on her face, and Mal remembered that while having a mindreader on board could come in handy, it could also be a real pain in the ass at times. The girl was probably clearer than either Mal or Inara were on why Inara was leaving. After a few minutes of that eerie stare, River said, "You're not going." 

"I'm sorry, honey, but I am." 

"No, you're not. You're not sorry. But you're not going, either. Not now." She said it matter-of-factly, not like she was trying to persuade. Mal wondered what she knew and if she'd be willing to share. 

"So, Mal, we gonna get us another whore to live in the shuttle?" Jayne asked. 

Oh yeah, that had all gone real well. Mal couldn't wait to get to Persephone. 

* * *

"Kaylee?" Simon called as he stepped into the engine room. He found her sitting in the back corner, cuddling the cat. 

"Go away!" Then she looked up and said, "Oh, it's you. You can come in. I'm not talkin' to 'Nara or the captain." 

"I don't think the captain is any happier than you are about this." 

"But he's lettin' her go." 

"There's not a lot he could do to make her stay if she wants to leave." 

She ran a sleeve across her eyes. "But they --" 

He sat next to her and wondered if he should put his arm around her. "They what?" 

"They love each other." 

"They what?" he repeated, more than a little bit astounded. He knew Kaylee had a lot of romantic notions, but this was stretching it. 

"Can't you tell, the way they look at each other, the way he gets when she has a client, the way she gets when he so much as looks at anyone else? That's what all this is about. If they'd just talk to each other, they could work it all out and she wouldn't have to go." 

"I don't imagine it's as simple as all that. It never is. There are so many other things at work here -- her job, his job, the political climate, the circumstances. Sometimes love isn't enough, no matter how strong it is." And now, somehow, this was no longer about Inara and the captain. 

She sniffled. "It should be." 

"But it isn't, not always." He took a deep breath, not sure he wanted to bring up this next issue. "I think some of this may be my fault." 

"Your fault?" 

"She said she was losing her client base. We can't go to worlds where she can screen clients because it's too dangerous for River and me, with all those bounty hunters after us and that huge price on our heads. Maybe if I found somewhere else for River and me to go ..." 

She clutched at his arm, her fingernails digging in through the fabric of his shirt. "No! That may be true, what you said, but there's more than that goin' on with Inara, I'm sure. I can't lose both of you." 

Someday she'd have to, he knew without a doubt. Either he'd have to leave in order to protect the rest of the crew, or he'd get taken away violently. That was why he couldn't afford to let things progress any further between them than they already had. He didn't want to break her heart when he had to go, and he wasn't sure he could find the strength to walk away from one more thing in his life that he cared about. 

She released his arm and went back to stroking the cat. "I bet I have to let him go at Persephone, too." 

That, perhaps, he could do something about. "Actually, I, uh, have an idea." 

Her face lit up, even with the tears still rolling down her cheeks. "You do?" 

"It's your idea, really. Well, you gave me the idea. You said the captain let me stay because I was useful. What if we found a way to make Cat useful?" 

"But how?" 

"Do we ever get pests on the ship, like mice or rats?" 

"Sometimes. Depends on which port. Things always seem to sneak on board at a crowded place like Eavesdown. And sometimes there are things hiding in the cargo. Zoe said there was something nesting in Serenity when the captain first bought her, and it took them months to get it all cleared out." She smiled. "So, what you're sayin' is we need a cat around to help get rid of the rats. Simon, you're brilliant!" 

He smiled, and his heart lightened to see her mood change so drastically. "There's just one problem. We have to convince him that there's something on board we need to get rid of." 

"And he'll have to find out about Cat before we can do any of this." 

"That's the genius of my plan. It's strictly a back-up. We don't start on the plan until he finds out about the cat. Then we can persuade him that we need to keep Cat around. If we can just keep Cat out of the way until we've left Persephone, maybe we can pretend that both Cat and the mice came on board at the same time. Cat gets rid of the mice, and then Cat gets to stay." 

She just looked at him for a moment, then she shook her head and said, "Wow. You really are a criminal genius." 

"No, just a sneaky big brother whose sister was always bringing things home that she wanted to keep. But remember, my failure rate in these schemes is extremely high." 

"At least you're tryin', unlike some people I could mention." And then they were back to the issue of the captain and Inara, something Simon couldn't do anything about. 

* * *

Someone was stirring on the ship, but River didn't have to look to see who it was. She knew it was the captain. Ever since Jubal Early had invaded their sanctuary, the captain had spent many an hour at night pacing the ship's corridors. He was wasting his time. She'd know when there was a threat, and she'd tell him. She was pretty sure he'd listen, too. 

But there was a secret that the captain couldn't know about. While he paced the catwalks in the cargo bay, she slipped upstairs to the engine room. "We have to go now," she informed Cat, then she picked up his litter box, draped his towel over her arm and got his water dish, effectively clearing the engine room of any sign that there had been a guest staying in there. "Come on," she said over her shoulder to the cat, who followed her out of the engine room and down the corridor to the stairs. 

Fortunately, the captain was going up the foredeck stairs to the bridge, so she had a little more time. The cat followed her down the stairs into the passenger dorm. Simon was still awake, she knew. He was still hurt by what she'd said to him earlier, and that made her sad. He'd done so much for her, he didn't deserve to get yelled at like that, or hit. 

She slid the door to his room open and found him sitting on his bed, reading, his sore leg stretched out in front of him. He looked up to see her. "River? What --" 

She put down Cat's things as Cat jumped up onto the bed and onto Simon's lap. "Your room is safe. No one ever thinks to look in your room." 

"I'm not so sure that's still true. Here they know I break rules. It's not like home." He scratched Cat behind the ears and gave his back a stroke, then Cat stepped off his lap to curl up beside him. 

She watched the two of them and decided that Cat and Simon were very much alike. They liked a little touch every so often to remind them that somebody cared, but then they needed their space. What neither of them would ever admit to was that it wasn't because they didn't like being held and touched, but because they liked it too much and were afraid they'd lose it, so they didn't dare get used to it. They'd just have to move on sooner or later, no place to really call home, and there was no guarantee that anyone would love them in the next place. 

"He's sorry," she told Simon. "About your hand." She touched her own hand in the place where Cat had scratched Simon. She hadn't been there, but she could feel the sting, even now. She took a deep breath. "And I'm sorry, too. About what I said earlier." 

"Oh, River, no. You were right." 

She shook her head. "No, I was wrong. I hurt you, and you've given up everything for me. You're not like Daddy. You saw, you listened. You understood. You came for me." 

"But I don't listen to you, not like I should." 

She tried to fight back the tears, but that was impossible for her now. If she had an emotion, she had no choice but to show it. Her tears only made him feel worse, and that hurt her even more. "River!" His voice was so plaintive that she had to go to him. He wrapped her up in a big hug that made her feel safe. "You were right," he said as he held her. "I'll try harder, I promise. But I don't understand, sometimes. Even when I listen I don't always know what to do." 

"I make you sad." 

"No, no you don't. It's the people who did this to you who make me sad, not you. You could never make me sad." 

"I scare you." 

"Yes, you do, sometimes. But you also make me very proud." 

She looked up at him in surprise. "I do?" 

"At first, I worried about you, that I would always have to protect you, but I'm seeing that you have your own weapons. You can take care of yourself. You even took care of the whole ship. And that makes me feel good because I think that maybe you'll be okay, even if something does happen to me." 

"It will." She felt the shimmer of fear run through him at her words. She didn't like making him afraid, but he had to know. 

"What's going to happen, River?" 

"They're going to hurt you." 

"But when? What can I do about it?" 

And that was the most frustrating thing. She didn't know. She knew things, but they all came in a jumble and she couldn't sort them out. "See, that's why you don't listen, because there's nothing to listen to. Nothing. Just words, words that don't mean anything. They just make you think and think and think and think but nothing comes of it until it's too late, so why listen?" 

"So, you understand my dilemma." She smiled through her tears at the dry humor in his voice. 

She touched the knot on his temple. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." 

"It's okay. It'll be gone in a couple of days. No real damage done." 

"You have a headache." 

"There are a lot of reasons I have a headache, and this is only one of them." 

She sighed. "Poor Simon. This is so difficult for you, isn't it?" She stood up. "Watch after him, Cat," she said. "Time for me to go. Captain will be here soon." 

Then she stepped across the hall to her own room and got in bed just as the captain came down the hallway to make sure all the good little girls and boys were in bed. 

* * *

Inara made herself a pot of tea in her shuttle the next morning. After the way things had gone the night before, she didn't think she could face the crew at breakfast. She hadn't slept much at all the night before, and truth be told, she was having second thoughts about her decision. But she couldn't back out now. If she changed her mind, Mal might think it was about him, and she couldn't allow that. 

Especially because it was all about him. Here, alone in the sanctuary of her shuttle, she could admit that much. Her business was suffering not because he couldn't and wouldn't take her to places where she could find clients. It was suffering because she wasn't highly motivated to find clients. There wasn't a lot of honesty in her line of work, but it had recently become even more dishonest. Her clients knew her feelings for them weren't deep, if they were there at all, but they weren't paying her to think about someone else while she was with them. 

But Mal was an adult, more or less, and she was sure he understood on some level. She'd been less prepared for Kaylee's reaction. The look of betrayal in her eyes had hurt more than any name Mal had ever called her. Why did other people have to get hurt because she'd let her life get more complicated then it should be? 

There was a knock at her door, and she tensed. It was probably Mal again, with yet another flimsy excuse for coming by to try to talk her out of her decision by insulting her. Steeling herself with her emotional armor, she went to the door and was quite startled to find Kaylee there. "Hi, 'Nara," she said, not quite looking Inara in the eye, "Can I come in?" 

"Yes, of course. I just made some tea. Would you care for some?" 

Kaylee nodded silently as she took a seat on the sofa. Inara sat next to her and poured, then handed Kaylee a cup. Kaylee sipped at it in silence, then blurted out, "I'm sorry. I was bein' selfish last night. You gotta do what's best for you, and I ain't got no right to say otherwise." 

That sent yet another knife of guilt stabbing into Inara's heart, but she forced the tears to stay in her eyes rather than rolling down her cheeks. "Oh, Kaylee, you have nothing to apologize for. I should have told you sooner, and I could have found a better way to break the news." 

"But you're still going?" 

"Yes, I'm going." 

Kaylee took another sip of tea, then said, "Simon thinks that it might be because of him and River that you gotta go." 

"Why would he think that?" 

"It's because of them that we can't go to the places where you can find clients." 

There was some truth to that, but how could she tell Kaylee without putting the blame on Simon? With her gone, Kaylee would need the doctor and his sister's friendship more than ever. "You know that keeping them safe is the most important thing we do now, even if Mal won't admit it. I can't jeopardize their safety by insisting that we visit worlds that are best for my business. But there are still many other reasons I need to leave." 

"Like the captain?" It took every ounce of skill and training Inara had not to react to that. She picked up the teapot and refreshed her cup of tea. She hadn't thought her feelings were so noticeable. Or were they? Perhaps Kaylee was just indulging a romantic flight of fancy. 

"What makes you say that?" she asked, keeping her tone light and amused. "More tea?" 

Kaylee held out her cup. "He's been all dark and scowly for ages. That's because of you leavin', right?" 

"He scowls all the time. And I imagine he's not happy about losing the rent on my shuttle. There have been months when that's been the only thing keeping him afloat." 

Kaylee looked disappointed, and Inara relaxed. Apparently it had been yet another romantic whim. Kaylee was always looking for the handsome prince to carry her off on a white steed. Someday she was going to learn that it wasn't going to happen. True princes were few and far between, and even if she and Kaylee had managed to find some -- and Inara believed they had -- they often had their own problems that prevented a happy ending. Both of them had the bad luck to fall for tragic princes who were more likely to die slaying a dragon than to ride off into the sunset with a fair maiden. 

"I guess this ain't too good a time for what we got planned, then." 

"What have you got planned?" 

"Can you keep a secret?" 

"You know I can. My profession requires discretion." 

"I got a cat, back on New Lafayette. He came on board on his own, but I didn't make him leave. He was hurt a bit, and Simon got him fixed up. I was gonna let him go on Persephone, see if we could find a home for him, but now Simon's got a plan for trickin' the captain into lettin' us keep him." 

"A cat?" Inara could only imagine Mal's reaction to that. It might even be worth staying around to see this. "And what is this plan of Simon's?" 

"We're gonna make the captain think we got mice or rats, and we need a cat to kill 'em. You can help us, if you like. He can't exactly get too mad at you, since you're leavin' anyway. The real plan is to wait until Persephone, but we need a back-up in case the captain finds 'im before then." 

"You can count on my help," Inara said. She felt better now that Kaylee was smiling again. 

"Thanks!" Kaylee leaned forward to hug her. "You'll write to me when you're gone, won't you?" 

"Of course I will. It'll be like I wasn't even gone. Maybe I'll even send you something nice." 

"That'd be shiny. I'd still rather have you here, but if leavin's what's best for you, then I just gotta abide by that." And then she was up and on her way out. "Now I'd better check on Cat. I think Simon's got him now." 

Once she was gone, Inara finally let the tears fall. It was going to be more difficult than she thought to leave this ship behind. She wasn't entirely sure she'd really be able to do it when the time came. 

* * *

Mal thought he saw something moving among the crates in the cargo bay, but when he turned to look, it was gone. He knew he was being paranoid, but his sometimes faulty danger sense was tingling. In this case, he didn't think it was actual danger, more like the sense that his crew was pulling something over on him. Last night, he'd checked the engine room but hadn't found anything worth hiding in there. He still suspected that Kaylee was up to something. 

He went over to the crates, just to check it out. And then he froze as he saw a large brown cat calmly cleaning itself. It looked up at him as if to say, "Do you mind?" then went back about its business. 

"Kaylee!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs. So, that was what she was up to. She'd tried before to get him to let her keep a pet, but she'd never managed to actually sneak one past him. 

She came running into the cargo bay, followed closely by Simon and River. He should have known that the three of them would be in this together. Simon had to have known in order to cover for Kaylee, and there was no hiding anything from River. 

Kaylee's hand flew to her mouth when she saw what Mal was staring at, then she looked up at Simon with a plea for help in her eyes. Simon had gone pale, then a flush spread from his collar up to the tips of his ears. Only River seemed unaffected. She walked up to the cat and said, "There you are. You think you're so clever, getting away from me like that." 

Forcing himself to keep his temper in check, Mal addressed Kaylee. "What in the good gorram hell is a cat doing on my ship?" 

She gave him a wide-eyed innocent look that he was sure she'd perfected in front of a mirror. "I dunno, Cap'n. I guess he's hitchin' a ride. He must have come on at New Lafayette, while everyone was off busy with stuff. I didn't find him until we'd already taken off." Likely story, but Mal let her continue. "We were gonna find him a home at Persephone, that is, if you don't think we should just keep 'im." 

"Keep him? Now, Kaylee, you know my policy on pets. Why do you think I'd let you keep him?" 

"He could be useful," Simon put in. 

Mal turned on him. "Useful?" The boy didn't so much as flinch from Mal's anger, to his credit. 

"Well, yeah. I've read about how hard it is to get rid of rats and mice once they start nesting on a spaceship. And then they can wreak all kinds of havoc with the cargo. They could destroy a shipment of genseed, and we carry that often enough." 

"You've read about that, have you?" 

Simon held his gaze, not even blinking. "I started doing research on the subject when I first came on board, to help me adjust. You'd be surprised at the amount of information that's available on shipboard life. Oh, and perhaps I should mention that vermin have been known to carry diseases that can affect humans. It's believed that rats on board ancient sailing ships were largely responsible for the spread of the Black Death that affected Earth that Was during the Middle Ages. As the ship's medic, it's my professional opinion that we should do something to make sure the ship remains free of potentially dangerous vermin." 

"Is that right? Well, that's all very interesting, but there ain't no vermin on my ship." 

Just then there was a high-pitched shriek from above. Mal turned to see Inara standing outside her shuttle, her eyes wide with fright and her skirt gathered up above her ankles. She had very nice ankles, he noticed. "I think I saw something run past me," she said. "It looked like a rat." 

"And I think I smell one. So you're in on this, too, are you? Is there anybody on this boat who ain't in on this little conspiracy?" 

"What conspiracy?" Zoe asked. She was standing on the catwalk near Inara, having apparently come down from the bridge. 

"I wanna be in on it, whatever it is," Wash said, coming down the stairs behind his wife. "What is it?" 

"I don't know, dearest. That's what I'm trying to find out. What conspiracy, sir?" 

"Kaylee's got a cat, and she seems to have come up with a grand scheme to get me to let her keep it." 

"The scheme was Simon's idea," Kaylee said, and the doctor shot her a worried glare. 

"Well, it ain't workin'. No pets on my boat. The only furry thing I want on board is Jayne." 

"We used to keep a cat on board when I was growin' up. It sure kept us from havin' problems with mice," Zoe said. 

"They put you up to this, didn't they?" Mal asked her. 

"Put me up to what?" 

"Pets are an excellent source of stress relief," Book said. Mal turned to see him coming through the hatch from the passenger area. "I've heard a lot of ships carry them." 

"Not mine." 

"But he's clean, and there's not much to do to take care of him. He don't even eat much," Kaylee said, trying for pleading puppy dog eyes. She should know by now he was immune to that. Well, most of the time. 

Jayne joined the preacher. "What's this about a cat? I hear them's good eatin'." 

"Jayne!" Kaylee and Simon said simultaneously. "That's disgusting," Simon added. 

"What? Meat's meat. Beats the hell outta that protein crap we eat." 

"Okay, can we get back to the subject at hand, which is how soon we can get this cat off my boat?" 

"We'll be at Persephone tomorrow morning," Wash called down from above. 

"I was thinkin' about something a mite sooner than that." 

"Captain!" Kaylee cried out in horror. 

The subject of this discussion finished its bath, got up to all fours, flicked its tail in Mal's general direction and walked off with an air that said very clearly, "Bored now." 

"You wouldn't, would you?" Simon asked. "It's just an innocent creature." 

"You're horrible," Kaylee said as tears trailed down her cheeks. "You made Inara go away and now you're gonna put my cat out the airlock. I hate you." 

"Whoa! Wait a second. How did I get to be the bad guy here? You know the rule, Kaylee, and Inara's leavin' because Inara wants to leave. I ain't makin' anyone go who don't want to." 

"Other than Cat," River said. "He doesn't want to go. He likes it here. He even likes you, but he wishes you wouldn't shout so much." 

Mal looked at her in surprise. "You're telling me you can read that animal's mind?" 

"She seems to do pretty well with Jayne," Wash commented. "The cat shouldn't be that different." 

"Hey!" Jayne said. "Don't make me come up there!" 

"Ooh, I'm so scared. By the time you make it up the stairs, you'll have forgotten why you climbed them in the first place." 

"I oughtta ..." 

"Hey!" Mal shouted. "Back to the matter at hand. I won't put your cat out the airlock, Kaylee, but you will find a new home for him when we get to Persephone." He suspected that any home for the cat in the general vicinity of Eavesdown would likely involve a platter with potatoes on the side, but he didn't think it would be wise to tell her that. 

"But what about the mice and the rats?" she asked with a sniffle, giving it one last try. 

"I told you before, there are no vermin on my boat." 

At that moment, the cat returned with something small, furry and bloody in its mouth. It dropped the thing at Mal's feet. "What's that?" he asked. 

Simon bent to look at it, then looked up at Mal with a smug grin on his face. "Captain, I believe that is a mouse. Or was a mouse." 

"He likes you," Kaylee said. "He brought you a present. That shows that he knows you're the boss." 

Mal looked down at the nasty little offering. "Huh." He wondered how the kids had managed to find a mouse to plant somewhere on the ship. They must have really planned this in advance. "Well, he's right about that. I am the boss, and I still say he goes when we reach Persephone." 

* * *

Inara was supposed to be the guest of honor at the going-away party that night, but Cat turned out to be the center of attention. She didn't mind so much because the distraction reduced the chance for emotional scenes. As she watched the crewmembers play with, tease and pet the cat, she hoped Mal relented and let it stay on board. It would be good for the crew to have a pet. Their lives were difficult and stressful, and the presence of the animal was good for generating peace and calm. 

Cat jumped down from the dining table, twined his way around Jayne's legs -- nearly causing him to lose his balance, much to River's amusement -- then slunk away from the throng at the center of the dining room to jump up onto the seat next to Simon in the seating alcove. Inara frowned as she noticed the young doctor sitting alone and apart from the festivities. He had his left leg propped up on the low table and his eyes were halfway shut. 

She slipped away from the party and sat next to him. "You aren't enjoying the celebration?" 

"It's not really an occasion to celebrate," he said without opening his eyes. 

"Can I bring you a drink?" 

"Alcohol and painkillers aren't a good combination. I'll pass. But thanks." 

She touched his face, just under the black-and blue knot on his head. "That looks like it hurts." 

"Oh, that's nothing, really. The leg is the problem. A bit of medical advice for you -- consider it a going-away present -- don't get shot. If you do get shot, listen to your doctor and take it easy until you heal completely, even if you don't think he knows what he's talking about." 

She laughed. "I'll keep that in mind. No getting shot. That shouldn't be too hard to remember." He looked troubled, and she was sure that it wasn't just the pain. "Is something wrong, Simon?" 

"Just something River said yesterday, before she hit me in the head." He gestured toward the swollen bruise. "She said I'm in danger." 

"What kind of danger?" 

He shrugged. "Who knows? But I checked, and they've got a new warrant out. The big price is still on River, and they still want her alive. But now I can be brought in dead or alive, for the same reward." 

"Oh, God," she breathed. 

"Of course, they didn't have to alter her brain for her to be able to tell that a man with a price on his head is in danger." 

"That's going to make things more difficult, isn't it?" 

"Maybe. Who knows? I imagine I'll be okay as long as they don't get their hands on River because they'll want my help getting to her. Otherwise, I'm a danger because I know too much. They need me eliminated." 

"I'm feeling more and more like I've made the right decision in leaving." 

He looked at her in alarm. "I hope you're not leaving on my account." 

"No. There are many reasons for me to leave. I should have left months ago. But I do think it will be easier to keep you hidden if we don't have to go to places where I have business. The farther you stay from the centers of civilization, the safer you'll be." 

"Why are you going?" 

He was the first person to ask the question directly, but Kaylee saved her from having to answer it. The mechanic came bouncing over to where they sat. "Hey, you two! You should be having fun!" From the sound of her speech, Kaylee had already had plenty of fun. She plopped onto the seat next to Simon, picked up Cat and rubbed her nose against his. "Who's my good kitty?" she cooed. "You did such a good job for us this afternoon." 

If Inara wasn't mistaken, the cat rolled its eyes at the baby talk. 

"Your performance wasn't bad, either," Simon said to Kaylee. 

"Wasn't I good? All those tears, and I thought the 'I hate you' was a really nice touch." She grinned at Inara. "You did good, too. I almost believed that scream, myself." 

"What I want to know is, how did you two get that mouse?" 

Simon and Kaylee looked at each other and laughed. "We didn't," Simon said. "That's the funny part. There really was a mouse. We couldn't have worked that out any better if we'd tried." 

"You mean, there are mice on this ship?" Inara had to fight the impulse to lift her feet off the floor. 

"Apparently so," Simon said. 

"But Cat took care of that nasty mouse, didn't you, kitty?" Cat let Kaylee hug him a little bit longer, then he extricated himself from her arms and draped himself across Simon's lap. Unfazed by that, Kaylee jumped up to her feet. "I'm gonna get another drink. Anyone want anything?" 

"No, thank you," Inara said. 

"I'm good," Simon said. He watched Kaylee go, a faint smile on his lips. 

"She likes you," Inara observed. 

"I like her, too." 

"You have an interesting way of showing it." 

"How do you mean?" he asked, absently scratching the back of the cat's neck. "Are you asking what my intentions are?" 

"Something like that." 

"My intention is to make sure she doesn't get hurt." 

"Get hurt how?" 

He stopped scratching the cat and narrowed his eyes at her. "Do you not recall the earlier part of this conversation? I've got a price on my head. I may not be able to stay here much longer. There's no point in getting something started, only to have it end quickly or badly." 

She took his right hand. "Simon, none of us knows how long we have, whether or not we have a price on our heads. All we have is the here and now, and all we can do is make the most of the time we have. If she cares for you, it won't matter what else happens between you. She'll still hurt if something happens to you. But at least she'll have some good memories." 

There was a loud meow, as apparently Simon forgot to keep scratching and Cat objected. "Sorry," he told the cat, getting back to work with his left hand while Inara still held his right one. "So, is that why you're leaving, because you're making the most of the time you have?" 

Again, she was saved from having to answer, but this time she wasn't sure if the cure wasn't worse than the disease, for the newcomer was Mal. He glared at the sight of Simon and Inara's entwined hands, and Inara was tempted to hang on, just to spite Mal. But it wouldn't be fair to make things difficult for Simon, so she let go after just long enough a pause to make it clear she wasn't reacting to Mal's presence. 

"So, what are you two wallflowers over here talking about?" he asked. 

"Life, death, fate. You know, typical party conversation," Simon said. 

"Yeah." Mal didn't seem too convinced, which was ironic considering it was the absolute truth. He glared at the cat in Simon's lap. "I just can't abide having animals on my ship. The sooner we put that cat out, the more I'll like it." 

"You had a herd of cattle in the hold for weeks," Simon pointed out. 

"That was different. It was a job." 

"I guess you like the mice better, then." 

"I don't know where you got that mouse --" Mal started, but Kaylee came back with a cup in each hand. 

She brushed past Mal with a glare. "I ain't speakin' to you," she said, then she sat next to Simon and handed him a cup. "This is just punch. No booze, so you can have it." 

"Thank you." 

Mal looked like he was about to say something Inara knew he'd regret later, so she stood up, took him by the arm and said, "I think we need to talk." 

"Funny. You've been avoiding me for weeks, and now right before you go, you suddenly need to talk." 

She pulled him to the aft hatch and up into the corridor so they could have some degree of privacy. 

"Was that what you were just doin' with the doctor, havin' a little talk?" She was now glad she'd taken him out of the room because his voice was raised in ire. 

"You're drunk," she accused. 

"Mildly intoxicated," he corrected. 

"There's a new warrant out for him, dead or alive." 

"I know." Now he sounded dead sober, so he must have been telling the truth about his degree of intoxication. "We checked when River started ranting about him being in danger. That complicates matters somewhat." 

"You won't kick them off the ship, will you?" 

"Hell, no. I ain't afraid of no gorram bounty hunters." He frowned. "Is that what you two were in there talkin' about?" 

"Among other things that are none of your business." 

"I hope you weren't encouraging those two back there." 

"Why not?" 

"Because the last thing I need you doing before you skedaddle is stirring up things that will cause nothing but trouble, trouble I'll have to clean up since you won't be here." 

"I don't see why you should have any reason to object to the way they live their lives." 

"Inara, that boy's a dead man walking. How do you think Kaylee would feel if they got all close and romantic, and then she got to see a bounty hunter put a bullet in his brain?" 

"About the same way she'd feel if it happened tomorrow, if nothing more ever happened between them. She cares about him anyway, and losing him is going to hurt, no matter what. Why should both of them be miserable while waiting for something that may or may not be inevitable? But you can relax. Simon feels the same way you do about the issue." 

"I knew that boy had some sense." 

She knew that what she was about to say was risky, but she couldn't hold back. "I think you're just afraid. You're afraid to let yourself be happy or get close to anyone because you can't take any more pain. That's why you hate to see anyone else take the kinds of risks you're afraid of when they bond with someone else and chance any pain that may come with it. Zoe and Wash, Simon and Kaylee, even the crew and that cat -- you hate anything that looks like it could be love. But just because you live in fear, it doesn't mean everyone else has to." She gathered her skirts in one hand so she could make a clean exit. "Good night, Mal." 

As she turned away, he said, "Yeah, you're one to talk. You're leaving because you're so very, very brave when it comes to admitting how you feel." 

It didn't take much effort to resist turning back. She had no desire for him to see the tears in her eyes. And then she realized she was on the wrong end of the ship. To get back to her shuttle, she'd have to go down the stairs to the passenger dorm, then up into the cargo bay and up the stairs to the catwalk. But she'd rather climb all those stairs than face Mal again. 

* * *

Mal needed another drink. His nice, pleasant buzz had worn off completely. After he watched Inara disappear down the stairs, he turned and headed back into the dining room. Simon and Kaylee still sat together in the seating alcove. She laughed as she playfully brushed cat hair off of his dark slacks. Meanwhile, the cat was on top of the dining table, playing a fierce game of tug-of-war with Jayne over a cloth napkin. The cat had all its claws and teeth dug into the napkin, and it pulled back every time Jayne gave the napkin a tug. Both of them were hissing and spitting, and Jayne seemed to be having a good time. He must be really drunk. 

Great, that was all he needed, another member of his crew involved in the great cat conspiracy. And Jayne had been the one person he thought might side with him. 

But the cat was an issue for tomorrow. Let them have their fun for tonight. In the meantime, he had some more serious matters to discuss before he started drinking again. He walked over to the seating alcove and just stood there until Kaylee noticed his presence. She instantly stiffened, then walked away without a word, which was just what Mal wanted. He then sat next to the doctor. 

"I understand they've changed the warrant," he said. 

The boy nodded. "We'll leave at Persephone, if you want us to. I don't want to make this ship a target for every bounty hunter in the galaxy." 

"That ain't what I'm askin'. The last place you need to be leaving is Persephone. You'd be dead before you got a meter away from the ship. I just think it would be a good idea for you two to stay out of sight for the time being. No getting off the boat, no interacting with anyone but the crew." 

"That's a very good idea." 

"One other thing. Where did you find that mouse?" 

"I didn't plant it. I guess it was here all along. A cat might come in handy, after all, wouldn't you say?" 

"I wouldn't. And if you want to stay on this ship, I would recommend that you don't go behind my back like that again." 

The doctor winced, but there was a healthy flash of anger in his eyes. Good. He was gonna need that if he was going to stand a chance of staying alive. And suddenly Mal didn't feel much like celebrating anymore. He stood up and shouted to the room at large, "Okay, you're had your fun. Time to hit the sack. We hit Persephone bright and early, and we've got plenty of work to get done. 

With much grumbling, the crew dispersed until only the cat was left, sitting on top of the dining table and calmly licking its fur. Once he made sure that nobody was watching, Mal ran a hand down the cat's back and felt the answering rumble of purr. Maybe Inara was right, but it was his experience that whenever you let yourself get too attached to anything, it had a way of walking off and leaving. The only way to keep the things you cared about was to try not to care too hard. 

He headed forward to his bunk, and was somewhat surprised to find the cat at his heels. "Go away!" he said. "Go bother someone else who actually wants you here." He didn't look to see if the cat went, but he made sure his door was firmly closed once he was down the ladder and inside his cabin. 

The last thing he needed right now was a distraction like a potential mutiny over something as stupid as a cat. They needed this job, and a few more like it, if they were going to stay afloat much longer. 

He really hoped their luck changed for the better when they reached Persephone. As much as he hated to rely on luck, they didn't have much else going for them at the moment. 

The End 

#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Shanna


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